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why we never.on her fifth birthday
her mother gave her an electric belt and said
"there is no reason to live if you can't feel it" and
strapped it around her daughter's tiny waist. she told her
"every time you breathe, it stings" and that was how
she knew she was alive.
wednesdays were leap days and fridays were fall days
and tuesday was the day her brother cried because
he'd been told his daffodils would never bloom
again. he said "flowers die when no one
sees them" and she put her hands over his eyes.
"i'm a flower" she repeated over and over.
"hello, i think i know you" he had said.
"what do you want?"
"hello, i think i know you."
"hellos are overrated."
"hello, i think i know you."
it stung.
she asked her father for porcelain dolls
to watch their frail limbs shatter as they fell.
legs fell. arms fell. heads fell. she fell.
and it didn't even sting.
on her sixth birthday, the belt was passed on.   
Laugh of the Insane  Alone,
     All alone in my thoughts,
And theirs.
  Their thoughts overwhelm me,
     They hiss and scream,
To be noticed.
  Surrounded,
     Yet still completely alone,
Dreadfully alone.
  I am alone with ghouls a fool's company,
     And as insanity takes hold,
I am alone.
  Strange,
     You all saw my demise coming,
You didn't care.
  Laugh,
     You don't have long left,
Til sanity flees.
  So laugh while you can,
      Because, I will tell you,
Only the insane laugh to themselves. Life Goes On  To go up in flames,
   To dance in the rain,
    To live and to learn.
  From life to death,
   From peace to war,
    From love to hate.
  Trials of life,
   Tokens of success,
     And life goes on.
  To love is to destroy,
   To try is to fail,
    To scorn is to save,
     Peace and war,
      Blend to one,
And life goes on.
  From strangers to spite,
   From crying to crutches,
    From blights to blues,
     Solitary confinement,
      Blue turns to grey,
And life goes on. InsanityMadness. Insanity. Both are imminent. What matters is which comes first. When madness comes first, you live out the fear of your insanity in horrible wretchedness with no hope of escape until your heart caves in and all you have left is stripped away from you in a torrent of horrible and catastrophic doom. If insanity comes first, then you can control how you adapt. Insanity is but creativity that the common mass is too weak and pathetic to recognize as genius. Insanity brings pain and suffering and rejection, for it is impossible for you to comprehend how you could be so knowledgeable and wise while the others deem you as crazy and useless. But in the end you find peace whilst realizing that none of them could possibly come to the level of understanding that you have. It is your choice to either embrace the insanity with all you are and enjoy it until madness takes you over or you can refuse to accept it and live out your insanity in terror and anguish.